Summer of 2020, the pandemic caused lockdown and panic amongst cities. I was lucky enough to be moving from the great space of Wyoming, to Tacoma, Washington (long story). Having my bike with me while recovering from knee surgery was a life saver in Tacoma. I biked along a path following the water way 2-3 times a day as I wasn’t working and that was about my only form of outdoor fun to participate in nearby my apartment.
I kept my bike stored in our locked apartment garage, and locked to a railing with a chain lock (mistake one). There were a few homeless that would patrol the street in front of the apartment here and there, but nothing too alarming to worry about as my bike was locked, in a locked garage. However the garage lock sucked, and my bike lock sucked.
One fateful evening, someone broke into the garage and stole: my 2012 Specialized Hybrid bike, boxes of stuff, and a $2,000 triathlon street bike. My heart hurt the next day when I went to grab my bike for my daily ride to discover it wasn’t there. I stormed around in panic, only to realize we had all been violated by theft.
After calming down and realizing the landlord and the police clearly didn’t give a crap, I listed my bike stolen on bike index and posted on facebook groups about my stolen bike.
One week later realizing and accepting my bike was gone forever, I bought a new $400 Trek Hybrid bike off facebook marketplace. After one ride, I quickly realized it was significantly better than my 2012 specialized bike that got stolen. I realized my fate was to get a better, nicer bike and someone stealing my bike was a blessing to force me get a new bike.
My life continued on, biking and smiling on my new bike every day, my old bike completely forgotten.
Then my sister messages me a photo of a bike listed for sale on facebook marketplace, “Is this yours?”. Yup, 100% it was my bike, complete with specific dings from severals falls, and handlebar grips from amazon. Seeing my bike listed on facebook marketplace gave me a feeling of even more helplessness. And the bike was only worth about $125 according to the bike bluebook, they were selling it for $150. I wanted justice, it was in reach, and I wanted this person to pay for being a thief. I called the policy, once again they were completely useless.
Knowing that drugs and bad people are involved in theft, even bike theft, I didn’t want to personally get involved, meet with the thief, or even contact them. I wanted to remain completely anonymous and have someone else to the dirty work for me. So I felt helpless again…
Then my sister found a facebook group for PNW lost/Stolen Bikes. She took the liberty to contact the group, find a bike repossession agent in Tacoma, and connect me with her. The bike repo was a woman, with a fake facebook and fake name used to contact the bike thieves on facebook. She cons them into meeting with her, then takes the bike right in front of them saying “This is a stolen bike and I”m here to recover it!” Like a total badass.
Discovering this facebook group was like discovering an underground agency of total badasses bringing justice to the bike world. I needed to be a part of this.
I was in. I messaged with Sandy (bike repo lady) and she said she would contact the thief/seller like she was interested in buying the bike and set up a meet time to recover the bike.
I met Sandy in a parking lot of a hospital where I assumed she was going to have my bike already recovered, I’d say Thank you so much!, take my bike, and leave merrily.
She pulled up next to me and got out of her retired school teacher looking SUV. She was a small 5’2 completely unassuming woman, retired school teacher. She did NOT have my bike yet… then she starts prepping me to meet with the bike thief.
“She goes by the name of Mary on facebook and has a criminal background in and out of jail, theft, and violence, so we have to be prepared for anything.”
Wait….did she say we? I then expressed how I didn’t want to get involved or help, I couldn’t run because I was recovering from knee surgery, and I wasn’t wearing a sports brat to run if needed. I only have a pocket knife, and wasn’t ready for any kind of confrontation, considering my daily life during a pandemic lockdown was VERY sedentary compared to the action that could happen from a stolen bike repo.
Sandy, being the retired school teacher she was, gave me the confidence and assured me that we could do it.. together..
We were a team, and were going to get the bike back no big deal. And Mary was walking the bike over to meet us in 5 minutes at the hospital entrance. I thought how fitting, incase I get shot, I’m already at a hospital.
Sandy debriefed me on how we would recover the bike, then we were off. We drove to the hospital entrance looking for a woman walking my bike up to the entrance. Then she appeared, walking into the entrance with the bike in hand. She looked ratchet, as expected, and potentially pregnant. She was wearing jeans and a black T shirt with the P!NK singer logo on it.
Sandy told me to identify the bike as mine first. We walked up to Mary, she introduced herself and said “It’s a great bike I just don’t need it anymore, it needs some work like new hand-bar grips and new pedals.”
I pretended to look at the bike, then said “Oh nice bike, It’s your bike?”. Trying to act smooth, but asking the weirdest question I could’ve asked.
Mary spat off more lies and as I listened disgusted, I knew Sandy was about to bring down the justice hammer. I looked at Sandy and said “Yup this bike looks like mine. It’s definitely mine.”
“This bike is reported stolen with Tacoma PD and we are here to recover this stolen bike.”
Sandy laying it down!!! Firm, confident, and to the point. I was so blown away by Sandy’s confidence and firmness I just stood there, waiting for something to happen.
“Ok we are going to take the bike now….Take the bike….Gloria take the bike and let’s go!!!” Sandy waiting for me to take the bike as I stared in disbelieve that we were going to take my bike back.
I grabbed the bike, and we started walking away with it. Mary knew immediately she was caught, helpless, and we were in the power. She started just walking away toward home, mumbling how her boyfriend gave her the bike and she had no idea it was stolen and blah blah blah!
Mary was gone, Sandy and I had the bike, the adrenaline rush was AWESOME and I felt like a total badass with my new partner of justice Sandy.
We high-fived in victory.
Sandy started singing “Walk of Shame” By P!nk commemorating Mary’s P!nk T shirt and her walk of shame without the bike and without the cash.
“One step, two steps, counting tiles on the floor
Three steps, four steps, guess this means that I’m a whore
Uh-oh, hell no, how long ’til I reach the door?
Fuck me, my feet are sore
I’m wearing last night’s dress and I look like a hot ass mess
Although my hair looks good ’cause I haven’t slept yet”
-P!nk Walk of Shame
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